10 Things To Do In Your Gap Year
By Jon Zamsky
Sit in the grass and watch a sunset. Feel the warm breeze on your head, your body resting upon the grass. Close your eyes and focus on your body. Understand the state your body is in, feel every moment. Be one with yourself, turn off your phone. Turn it off and throw it away, throw it as far as you can and never pick it up again. If you see anyone on their phones, rip it from their grip and throw it as far as you can, they will thank you later.
Go and find yourself in an area other than your home. Leave in the middle of the night, don’t tell your parents. Pack only what you can fit into a small, Lulu Lemon yoga bag. Go to the nearest bus station and stay there until two busses have passed. As the third one arrives, swallow twice the recommended dose of Ambien and fall asleep on the bus. Wherever you wake up is your exotic destination!
Look around your bedroom. Come to the realization that these walls are merely prisons of the mind. Quickly! You have twenty-seven seconds, put as many socks on your hand as possible and superman dive out of the nearest window. Crab walk to the nearest woods. Bury your fists into the soil, wait three days. When the epiphany arrives you will know what to do. Fulfill the prophecy.
Gather your whole gang of friends and build a toasty fire together. Bring some graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows. Enjoy your toasty snack! Caution: If you are the last person to finish your delicious treat, you are the weakest. Hold your hand within the flames to assert your dominance.
Hey man! Just because I’m writing an article on Zenith doesn’t mean I can’t be a bro just like you! Roll up your sleeves, turn your snapback around and just chill out, bro. All that skateboarding earned you this well needed rest. Now, take five laxatives. Feel the rush. See how long you can hold on for. Stay in control. YOU are in Control. For advanced readers, do this before a funeral.
Taking care of the kids in your neighborhood is an essential part of fitting in and giving back. Nothing compares to the feeling of fulfillment that will rush over you after babysitting. Except, maybe love. No one will love that child as much as you do. They know it. You know it. Run away with them. No one will ever hurt them anymore. You are their protector. If babysitting isn’t your style, then try dog walking!
4. Arts and Crafts
Let your creativity shine! All you need are popsicle sticks, an absurd amount of glue, and way too much glitter. The possibilities are endless; you can make a house, a boat, or a birdhouse. Now throw it into a fire, look at the ash. Come to the realization that no matter what you build it all turns into ash. We are born naked and we die naked.
Listen to everyone and everything. But listen very closely. It almost sounds suspicious. Something is not right. Something is missing here. You, stay right there. I need to make sure everything is safe for me to deliver this information to you.
2. STOP READING!!
Stop reading this right now. There is someone who wants to stop me. They do not want you to know what to do during your gap year. Probably one of those government scum! Well?? Why are you still reading??? GO! GO WHILE YOUR MIND IS STILL FREE! DONT LISTEN TO THEM! THEY TELL ONLY LIES! PLEASE! WAIT NO…
1. Take the SAT.
The SAT Suite of Assessments helps students navigate their path through high school toward college and career, and offers a range of unique benefits to students. The SAT is an admission test accepted by all U.S. colleges, and the College Board has programs to encourage all students to take advantage of higher education. Income-eligible SAT takers receive college application fee waivers and all students can opt in to Student Search Service® to receive free information about admission and financial aid from colleges, universities, and scholarship programs. Most of these students are college-bound, and virtually every college in the US accepts the SAT as a form of entrance exam. Many of those colleges actually require the SAT for admission. Other students take the SAT because they are obliged to by school, county (parish), or state standards.