9 Episodes of Glee

Kate Seltzer

Glee is arguably the best show of our time, in the sense that there are a lot of episodes and they have literally never followed through a on storyline so it keeps you hooked for a little while. Also, Santana Lopez. On the other hand, Glee is the worst show of our time, in the sense that it is terrible. In light of this captivating debate, I’ve compiled a list of 9 episodes of Glee. I was going to do the best episodes, but then I remembered that every episode is gold. God doesn’t choose favorites, and neither do I.  

 

  1. Hell-O 
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  • Jesse St. James is introduced. He is my friend. 
  • Finn dumps Rachel because she is being a lil extra. And also because he wants to go on a date with Santana and Brittany (which obviously doesn’t work out because… you know) 
  • Rachel does a totally kick-booty rendition of ”Gives You Hell” and everyone is super into it but Finn knows it is a subtweet at him so he’s anti. 
  • Will Schuester (the WORST MAN!) roasts Rachel because the assignment was Hello, not Hell. Rachel responds, “Sorry, I was just focused on the first syllable” as if she was saying something clever, but she literally wasn’t. 
  • Rachel, feeling roasted, goes to the music store. She meets Jesse St. James (see the first point). They start dating even though he’s the enemy!!! It’s cute because Lea Michelle and Jonathan Groff are best friends in real life. 
  • Also a bunch of Will Schuester storylines but I don’t like him, so I don’t care.

 

  1. Friday I’m In Love episode 
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  • Actually it is called Child Star 
  • It is only on this list because it features my favorite song of all time (“Friday I’m In Love”, if that was unclear!) 
  • Self-proclaimed “post-modern gay” sings my favorite song of all time. 
  • Post-modern gay just means he is a football player but he also likes kissing men.
  • They call him post-modern gay so he doesn’t seem like the token gay character. 
  • I do not love him as a character he is pretty underdeveloped but he is a better underdeveloped token gay character than Kurt Hummel. 
  • The boy who he sings “Friday I’m In Love” to looks like he’s 70 years old. SORRY. 
  • There is also a plot in this episode. It’s about a bar mitzvah. Also boy twin cheerio (BTC) wants to go on a date with Jane ex-Warbler girl but girl twin cheerio (GTC) is too controlling, so he sings a rebellious song at the bar mitzvah and GTC learns that BTC can make his own choices. Very heartwarming stuff.

 

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  1. I Kissed A Girl: 
  • OMG. GUYS. 
  • Actually I just mean the whole Santana coming out storyline.
  • This episode was actually CRAZY.
  • They sing “I Kissed a Girl”. 
  • Santana officially comes out at school and to her family after being forced out of the closet by Sue’s political opponent (long story). 
  • She has to come out to her abuela (that means Grandmother, if you are not fluent like me).
  • Abuela totally rejects her and it is SO sad because they were so tight before.
  • But other than that everything is ok and I am proud of her.

 

  1. Big Brother: 
  • THIS EPISODE IS SO FUNNY??? 
  • Basically Blaine’s brother, Anderson Cooper, comes to town. 
  • By Anderson Cooper, I mean Cooper is his first name and he probably has whatever Blaine’s last name is.
  • Update Blaine’s last name is Anderson. I wasn’t that far off. 
  • Cooper Anderson comes to town, he and Blaine have a rivalry but it is very passive aggressive. 
  • Just watch the episode. Or don’t I’m not a king.

 

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  1. Dynamic Duos: 
  • Election time!
  • Since Brittany is repeating her senior year, she decides to run again. 
  • “No please”- Blaine.
  • Blaine runs for president with Sam as his VP.
  • Blaine and Sam (Blam) become total bros. A classic Barack and Joe story.

 

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  1. The Hurt Locker 
  • Sue takes a break from her mission of destroying the Glee Club (but like, ok, it has been 11 years it is not even the same people anymore).
  • Please do not fact check the 11 years thing.
  • Sue takes a break from her mission of destroying Glee club to get Blaine and Kurt back together. As she so lovingly put it (AND I AM PARAPHRASING DON’T @ ME), “they are so annoying as individuals but together I guess they are cute.” 
  • Blaine is dating Karofsky (Kurt’s closeted high school bully). 
  • Sue literally locks them in an elevator and tries to get them to smooch
  • Blaine and Kurt don’t get back together in this episode but they do some kissin!

 

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  1. The Quarterback 
  • :-( 
  • Finn memorial episode. Show some respect please. 
  • When I watched it with my sister she said “If I died you guys wouldn’t be able to clean out my room because you took it” but she still has a room? And also she lives in a different state.

 

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  1. 2009: 
  • HECK ME UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
  • Second to last episode of Glee ever
  • Flashback to who the OG 5 (Original Glee 5) were before glee and why they decided to join.
  • Mercedes kicks butt. 
  • It’s a good episode but only because of Mercedes. Artie, Tina and Kurt are annoying I and don’t like them. SORRY.

 

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  1. Preggers: 
  • Quinn is pregnant with a child. 
  • She tells Finn that it’s his kid.
  • It’s NOT.
  • Kurt’s dad Burt catches him doing the “Single Ladies” dance in his basement with Brittany and Tina.
  • They tell Kurt’s dad, Burt, that all the football players dance.
  • Brit takes it too far and leads Kurt’s dad Burt to believe that Kurt has joined the football team by saying, “Kurt is on the football team.” 
  • Kurt has to figure out a way to be on the football team!
  • Fortunately, the McKinley football team is terrible and Kurt gets on the team. 
  • I would elaborate, but unfortunately I do not care.